you won't try to save me

you just want to hurt me


Izzotic; Part three
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"Rachel," Izzy said. "I'm really sorry about what happend earlier. I was just mad, you know."
Rachel looked surprised to see Izzy with such a joyous expression on his face, considering what had happend. "Oh yeah," she said. "It's all fine. Why are you so happy?"
Izzy just smiled even wider.
"Anyway," Rachel began after a few moments. "I deffinetly don't want to break this current happy state you're in, but I have some news that just might do the job."
Izzy's smile dissinegrated. "What is it?"
"Samm's coming. I told her you were here, and she's coming to talk to you."
Izzy had fully forgotten why he was happy and wondered how one day could be so terrible. Just twenty-four hours. How? "No. I won't see her. Tell her to not come. Abort. Leave. Whatever. She's not coming!"
Rachel then opened her phone to a new text message. "She's already here."
Izzy shook his head. He was not seeing Samm. No way. He ran into Rachel's room and locked the door. When Rachel turned around to get the door for Samm, she was shocked to see everyone in the room staring at her. She didn't realize Izzy had made such a scene!
Rachel finally let Samm inside, but Izzy was still hiding in Rachel's room.
"Where is Izzy?" Samm asked.
"He doesn't want to see you right now," Rachel informed her.
"I don't care," Samm nearly yelled. "Where is he?"
Samm may have been Rachel's best friend, but so was Izzy. And she knew that Izzy deffinetly did not want to see Samm. "I don't know," Rachel lied. "Maybe you should leave."
Samm was astonished. Rachel had never talked to her with such a tone before! "Fine!" Samm snapped. And so she left.
Rachel ran back towards her room, where Izzy was staying. She tried to turn the knob. Locked. "Izzy?" She called. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He said so low, Rachel could hardly hear him from behind the door. "Just go away. I am not seeing Samm."
"I know," she said. "I told her to leave."
Izzy opened the door a crack and looked to Rachel. "Really?"
"Really."
He emerged from Rachel's room and hugged her, hard. "Thank you," he said, genuinely.
"You're welcome."
Just then, Izzy opened his eyes, and grew a beaming smile. There was Lars, standing in the hall. Waiting.
Rachel saw Izzy's attention turned to something behind her, so she looked, only to see Lars. "Hey, Lars," she said.
"Hey Rachel," he waved a bit. "Can I talk to Izzy?"
"Of course," she said, walking away, to let them be.
Lars entered Rachel's room. Izzy followed suit. Once Izzy was inside, Lars closed- and locked- the door.
"I think we should talk," he said.
"Yeah," Izzy agreed.
"I just wanted to let you know," Lars began. "I liked, umm, 'hanging out' with you. But I don't want a serious relationship or anything."
Izzy felt his heart smash against his rip cage. He really thought Lars liked him. Could this day get anyworse? "Oh."
"I mean, I want to keep hanging out," Lars said. "I just don't want a..."
"Boyfriend," Izzy finished for him.
"Yeah," Lars laughed. "But... do you want to keep hanging out?"
"By hanging out, you mean..."
"Making out." Lars informed Izzy.
Izzy smiled his usual, sweet little grin. "Totally."
Lars smirked. He approached him, took his hands, and Lars touched his lips to Izzy's.
They went on like that for probably about thirty minutes, until there was a knock on the door.
"Izzy? Lars?" Gerard called. "Are you in there?"
"Yeah," Izzy called. "Just a minute."
Lars threw his shirt back on, as Izzy did, as well.
Izzy then opened the door.
Gerard looked a little confused, as to why they were in there so long, but he didn't ask, or anything. "So, umm, Mikey and I are leaving, and we wanted to say bye."
There was a silence.
"Bye," said Lars.
Izzy just waved.
"Yeah, umm, okay, bye." Gerard left.
Once they knew that they were left alone again, Lars immiedietly kissed Izzy again. When they stopped, they looked into eachother's eyes, and then into the hallway.
Mikey was standing there.
He had seen everything.

Paying for It, PART 1
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"Did you bring the stuff?" I immedietly whispered to Bridget before she could get through the door.
"Of course," she seemed shocked at the idea that she would forget such a thing.
"Hello, Bridget!" My mom called from the kitchen, drinking coffee, almost prepared for a long day of work.
"Hey, Mrs. Bryson!" Bridget called back.
"Well, Macy is waiting upstairs in my room for us, so let's go." I said.
We sprinted up the staircase, meeting the hallway, holding the doorway into my room. When the I turned the knob, we saw Macy sitting on my bed, insecurity and doubt filling her complexion.
Bridget dropped the bookbag formerly attached to her shoulders to the floor, attempting to unzip the opening.
"No!" I nearly yelled, zipping it back up.
"What?" She said. "Your mom already left. I heard her close the door."
"Yeah, but my brother is still home. Did you really think my mother would leave us alone? You know how over-protective she is."
"But if your brother is home, we won't be able to do the spell!" Macy faked concern fairly well, but I knew she wanted nothing to do with what was about to happen.
"Don't worry, he's going out with Layla in a little while. He's almost finished getting ready. I told him that I would tell mom that he was here the whole time." I smirked, and the faint glint of hope in Macy's eyes vanished.
"Awesome!" Bridget said. "I can't wait!"
"Me neither," I giggled.
Macy just sighed.

"Are you finished yet?" I asked Felix, still doing whatever he does to get ready, almost twenty minutes later.
"What's your rush, Frankie?" He asked, but before I could think up a lie, he interupted me. "I have to look and smell and feel amazing. I think Layla's losing interest. It took forever for me to convice her to see this stupid movie with me, that I don't even want to see. But I'm hoping we won't be watching the movie, anyway." Before I could tell him that I really didn't care about his "banging" love life, as he put it, he hit the light switch to his bathroom and headed for the stairs.
"Bye!" I nearly screamed, I couldn't wait to get rid of him.
He said nothing as he look at me. I think he was begining to get a bit suspicious.
I ran into my room to meet the girls, and shut the door. "Now that he's gone," I said.
Bridget excitedly unzipped the bag. Out she pulled exactly what we needed: one pink candle, three heart shaped lockets, one permanent marker, a lighter, and three small pictures.
"I'll go first," she said. I turned the lights out as she lit the candle.
Bridget stared into the candle flame for ten seconds, as me and Macy sat quietly. Waiting. Bridget grabbed the picture of her love interest, a picture she cut out of last years yearbook, and wrote the name of her crush, the name of the boy in the picture, in permanent marker on the backside: Maj Mahaskah. We saw her heart melting as she wrote.
She stared at the picture for a few moments, before setting the picture aflame, and burning it to ashes. She blew out the candle and let the ashes rest inside one of the heartshaped lockets. She kissed it, and put it around her neck.
I turned the light back on. "That was intense," I said. "You want to go next, Macy?"
She looked reluctant. No surprise. "I don't know about this," she said. Macy came from a strict christian family and I knew she wasn't very comfortable with my whole interest in experimenting with spells and the unseen world. But she had agreed to doing this, and we all knew she liked Seth Falk so much, she would try anything to make him like her. Even go against her own rules. She reluctantly began to light the candle again. I turned off the lights.
She stared into the flame for ten seconds. We saw that she was keeping count with her fingers. She picked up the picture of Seth Falk that Bridget had brought over, and wrote his name on the back in permanent marker. She paused for a moment, wondering weather she might go on, or end it there. But go on she did, as she set the photo aflame. She blew the candle out with much more force than she probably needed and let the ashes fall into the locket she had chosen from the three Bridget had brought over. She kissed it, or umm, pecked it, and put it around her neck. She returned to her spot on my bed without a word.
"My turn," I said, as I sat down in front of the candle. I lit it, and Bridget hit the lights above me. I stared into the flame for ten seconds, probably the longest ten seconds of my life. I couldn't wait to finish this spell, ever since I had read about it on the internet. I told Bridget about it, and she thought it was a great idea, as well. The spell supposedly made your love interest attracted to you, and that was what I really needed. I liked Eli Kelmer so much, it was almost painful. He was so beautiful, and nice, and... I couldn't take it. I grabbed the photo of him Bridget had cut out, the gorgeous school picture from last year, and wrote his name on the back. Eli Kelmer, I slowly dictated. Before I threw it in the fire, I wanted to say, "I'm sorry." But I couldn't, not in front of Macy and Bridget. I wanted to say, "I'm sorry for casting a spell on you to make you like me. You don't have a choice. You don't know how selfish I feel right now." But even with all of that ripping through my mind, I threw his picture into the open flame, and watched it burn down to ashes.
I lightly blew on the candle, and it went out. In the ashes went, into the last locket available.
I kissed the locket, and the golden chain lined my neck.

Izzyotic; Part TWO
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"And that's what happend," Izzy still had soft tears running down his cheeks. He threw himself onto Rachel and hugged her so hard she could hardly breathe.
When he finally let go, Rachel said "I knew Samm was doing something fishy on that phone of yours! She said she was just playing with it. I'm sorry, hon."
"It's okay," he said. "I'm just glad I have a friend like you that understands."
Rachel sweetly smiled, then said that she would talk to Samm about it.
Izzy was dumbfounded. "You're still going to talk to her?"
"Well, yeah," Rachel said. "She's my best friend."
"But what about what she did to me!" He nearly yelled. "She ruined my life!"
"That's all fine and well," Rachel began, "but she was only trying to protect you. She's a good kid. Give her a break."
This enraged Izzy like nothing he had heard all day. "Are you kidding me? Eff this, I'm out of here!" He stomped to the door, grabbed his things, but before he could escape, that doorbell rang. Rachel got up to answer it.
"Gerard, Mikey," She greeted them as they walked in. "Come on in."
Mikey looked to his left coming through the door, and saw Izzy. His face lit up.
"Izzy!" He exclaimed. "I thought you weren't coming!"
"Coming to what?" Izzy asked, looking to Rachel.
"I.." Rachel hesitated. "I was kind of going to have everyone over tonight, you know."
Izzy felt like punching someone in the face. "Why didn't you invite me?"
"I thought you'd be with Kurt, like everyother night..."
"Say," Gerard interfered. "Why aren't you with Kurt, anyway?"
"We broke up," Izzy said quietly, feeling the tears coming back. From the corner of his eye, he saw the look on Mikey's face go from neautral to beaming. Izzy felt like punching him in the face, too.
Next to arrive was Ray. He was very surprised to see Izzy, as well. "Woah!" He exclaimed. "I don't remember the last time I saw you outside of school, dude!"
Izzy said nothing.
Next to arrive was Frank. He was shocked by Izzy's presense, just like everyone else, and he tried to get Izzy to say something, just like everyone else. "So how are you Izzy?" He would say. "What happend with Kurt?"
But Izzy said nothing.
Bob arrived soon enough, with Imogen. Neither of them payed much attention to Izzy, which kind of made Izzy mad. Not only did they both ignore him, they wouldn't stop doing... couple things. They held hands, they kissed, Izzy couldn't take it. He ran into Rachel's bathroom.
He sat down on the toilet and cried. He had never faced a heartbreak this intense before. He knew that he loved Kurt, he really did. He did not care what other people thought, always saying, 'Oh, you're too young to be in love.' He knew there was no age limit in love. He loved Kurt. So much. He took out his cell phone and tried to call Kurt. Straight to voice mail. Called again. Straight to voice mail. He called again. Voice mail, voice mail, voice mail. He didn't want to leave a message... he hated messages. But after calling seven times, he felt he had no choice.
"Hey Kurt, it's... you know. I just... I didn't... please don't... I love you, Kurt. I always will. Please call me at your nearest moment available. Please. Bye."
Then there was a knock at the door.
"Izzy," called a voice from behind the door. It was Lars, one of Izzy and the gang's best friends. "You've been in there for a while. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Izzy said, still hiding behind the bathroom walls. There was a silence.
"I heard about Kurt," Lars said.
"Who hasn't," sighed Izzy.
"I think it's really effed up, what Samm did." He paused. "I'm really sorry. If you want to talk about it, I'm the guy. I'm the guru of heartbreak, believe me."
Izzy opened the door a crack. "You're one of the most attractive guys at school," he pointed out. "Every girl I know has a crush on you. I don't remember the last time you had a relationship that ended badly."
Lars said nothing; he just breathed for a moment, and Izzy could hear it like the wind blowing on a cold autumn morning. "There are things you guys just don't know," he finally said. "They just wouldn't understand... but, I think you might, Izzy."
Izzy was confused. He was so curious. What was Lars talking about? Lars motioned for the back door. "Take a walk with me?" He offered.
Izzy fully emerged from the bathroom and followed Lars outside. It was getting dark, but Rachel had a beautiful forest behind her house, which was especially beautiful at night, anyway. They both began walking. Lars wasn't saying anything; but Izzy didn't rush him, if what Lars was saying as important as he was making it out to be, Izzy wanted him to take his time arranging his words. He finally spoke.
"I'm really confused right now, Izzy. You know I like girls. But lately, I think I've kind of had a thing for... guys." Izzy said nothing. Lars immiedetly felt awkward, Izzy could see it in his face. "I mean," Lars continued. "You're the only guy I know who likes other guys, and I wanted some advice," they had entered the forest by that time, where they saw a big tree, with grass underneath, so when Izzy motioned for him to sit down with him underneath it, they wouldn't get their butts dirty.
"For me," Izzy began. "I basically knew I was gay from the begining. I never liked girls." Izzy's heart dropped everytime he spoke that lie; but he was no where near admitting his one-time-love for a certain girl. "But maybe it's different for other people. Maybe you gradually realize that you only like boys. Or maybe, you're just bisexual or pansexual. That's cool, too."
"I just don't know," Lars began. "But once, not that long ago- oh god, I've never told this to anyone. Will you keep it a secret?"
"Of course." Said Izzy.
"Last Summer, when my family and I went away to that stupid place they make me go with them every summer, the campground place in Florida, you know." He took a deep breath in. "There was this guy, named Mark. And I really liked him, and he said he really liked me. We kind of had this thing going on for most of the summer... sort of like a relationship, but not serious or anything. I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was that I was curious about guys, and he said he was bisexual, and that he really liked me, you know. And I thought he did, and I trusted him, and... he broke my heart, Izzy. He broke it." And much to Izzy's surprise, when he looked over, Lars was crying. Lars was always so much of a touch guyish type to Izzy. He didn't think Lars had tear ducts. He also thought it a bit strange when Lars hugged Izzy. Not a normal guy hug like usual, like two best girl-friends hugging. It was so weird to Izzy. He couldn't help but wonder if Lars really was turning homosexual.
"It's okay," Izzy quietly said, feeling oh so awkward, hugging Lars.
And then Lars looked up at Izzy. When their eyes met, Izzy and Lars both knew what was about to happen couldn't be stopped, wouldn't be stopped, and would probably never be spoken of again.
Their lips suddenly, slowly, and randomly met eachother's. Neither quite knew what was happening, but it felt right. Izzy couldn't help but note they were both holding starving hearts within themselves, that they were both emotionally greiving the loss of past loves, and that might be one of the reasons they were doing what they did, but at the time it did not concern either of them. They wanted eachother, and nothing would stop them.

Izzyotic; Part one
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"Get away from me," Izzy said, his back turned to Samm, as she followed him down the street. "I'll never talk to you again."

"But Izzy," Samm nearly cried. "It was for the best. You and Kurt don't belong together! You belong here, with Mom and me! I was doing you a favor."

"A favor?" Izzy finally turned around, his eyes red from crying, tears streaming down his face like sweat. "You call breaking up with the love of my life for me when I did not ask you to a FAVOR?" He wizzed himself back around, adjusting his bag of belongings on his shoulder.

"I just wanted you to come home," Samm said, on the verge of tears. "I love you! You're my brother!"

"Yeah, funny way of showing your so-called love." He sped up his stride, leaving a distraught Samm in the dust. "I hate you."

Those last three words crushed Samm as if her heart had been stepped on by an elephant.

Izzy did not knock on Rachel's door, but when he was nearing her front porch he called her cell phone to let her know that he was coming over. Rachel was already at the door by the time he arrived.

"What happend, Izzy?!" She was frightened by the intensity his sobbing had achieved by that point. "Come sit down." She took his bag, sat it down next to her school bag, and guided him to be seated on her couch.

He had stopped crying so hard after a while, and he was finally able to find his voice. He began from where else? The begining.

 

"I love you," Kurt said, then lightly kissing Izzy goodnight on the cheek. "Sleep tight."

"I will," Izzy sweetly smiled. He was so in love. He made himself comfortable on the lumpy couch of Kurt's living room, as Kurt slowly walked up the staircase to his room. Izzy was so used to the pattern when sleeping over at Kurt's house, since he had been basically living there for about a month. But he would have appreciated this one night a lot more if he knew it would be his last night with his sweet, adorable boyfriend.

They both woke up at the same time the next morning, and they both got ready at the same time. Kurt was in high school, a sophmore. Izzy was only in the eighth grade, but they went to school at the same time, anyway. Kurt was more of a rebel, while Izzy was more the good boy type; Kurt skipped school a lot, he smoked, and sometimes he drank. Izzy usually had perfect attendence and was strictly straightedge. But Kurt had recently become a sort of bad influence on Izzy. Izzy had missed an entire week of school, along with Kurt, the week before. This was Monday, and Izzy was going to school for the first time in a while. He wasn't too excited to see Samm, his twin sister, who had always hated Kurt, though she hardly knew him. She knew Samm would like him if they just got to know eachother.

That week while Izzy was out, Samm called him every day, atleast three times daily. She was so worried about her brother/best friend being under the influence of such a hoodlum.

Kurt drove Izzy to his middle school, Windy Hill, and kissed him goodbye. Inside, he was devoured by Samm's tirade. After the lecture, which Izzy had hardly payed attention to, Samm knew Izzy had learned his lesson and could do no else but glomp him. They both loved hugs.

Over all, they just missed eachother. Samm missed Izzy's perverted sense of humor and soft-to-the-touch hair, and Izzy had missed Samm's fake canadian accent and the way she always bit her nails. Not only was he reunited with his sister, but he was also back to see his other friends, like Rachel, Imogen, Lars, Gerard, Frank, Mikey, Ray, Bob and the whole gang.

"Izzy!" Rachel squeeled. "I missed you!"

"Where have you been?" Frank asked.

Izzy was basically hugged by everyone, because everyone in the school loved him, he was so sweet and friendly. Well, almost everyone. There were a few people, like Guy, Evan, Matthew, and some other douche bags, who were huge homophobics. They didn't like Izzy because he was gay, even though it wasn't his fault. Izzy loved himself, though, and he took none of the hatred toward him to heart. That's why a lot of people respected him.

After being reunited with his friends, they were off to class. Between almost every class period, Izzy, Rachel, and Samm would sneak into the girls bathroom to hang out. They had nearly every class together. Inside the bathroom, Izzy would be texting back and forth to Kurt, instead of talking with Rach and Samm like usual. This was begining to annoy the two girls.

During class that day, Samm had brought the subject into conversation with Rachel.

"Don't you think it's kind of rediculous, how obsessed Izzy is with his hoodlum boyfriend?" She said.

"I know!" Rachel agreed. "He's a bad influence. I wish Izzy would see the error of his ways and get with someone more right for him, like... Mikey."

"But Mikey isn't gay.."

"That's what you think," Rachel smirked.

Samm was confused, but there was no time for confusion. "I wonder what would happen if Izzy broke up with Kurt," She had an idea on the rise.

"Well that'll never happen," Rachel laughed at the idea. When she saw the look on Samm's face, she knew what she was thinking. "Samm, don't interfere. They're happy. It's none of your buisness, anyway."

Before Rachel could talk Samm out of her plan, the bell rang. Rachel and Izzy headed for the girl's bathroom, and Samm tagged along. Izzy was bringing his phone, of course.

When inside the bathroom, Izzy received a text message from, who else? Kurt. He beamed at what Kurt had called him, "doll."

"How cute," he giggled. Then he headed for one of the stalls. "Will someone hold my phone while I pee?" Samm came forward to retrieve the phone.

"Remember to put the seat down," Rachel said. "Someone might get suspicious if they walk into the girls bathroom and one of the seats is up."

Izzy gave her the thumbs up.

Quickly and quietly, Samm began to type something on Izzy's phone. Rachel got nervous.

"What are you doing?!" She demanded to know.

"I'm just playing with his phone. I like his phone." But that was not what Samm was really doing. She was sending a text message to Kurt. All part of her plan.

At the end of the school day, Izzy waited outside the halls of Windy Hill for Kurt to arrive. When he did not, Izzy decided to take the walk to Kurt's house. Inside, he knew something very wrong had happend. But on the outside, he was his normal, sunshiney self.

When at Kurt's house, Izzy knocked on the door.

Kurt opened the door a crack, then slammed it shut. Izzy could tell Kurt had been crying.

"Kurt?!" Izzy nearly yelled through the door. "Are you alright?"

"Leave me alone!" He heard him sobbing. "Go away!"

"What's wrong? What happend?"

"Don't play stupid," He sobbed a bit harder.

Izzy said nothing. He was clueless.

"Why?" Kurt asked through his tears, pulling the door a crack open again.

"Why what?" Izzy asked.

"Why'd you break up with me? I thought you loved me!"

When Izzy said nothing, Kurt slammed the door in his face. Suddenly, everything became clear to Izzy. "That BITCH!" He nearly yelled. Why would Samm do this to him?

He tried to explain that Samm had pretended to be him and broke up with him through text message, but Kurt would have none of it.

"You're such a liar," he sobbed. "Just leave."

And so Izzy left.


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